[PDF / Epub] ☄ Why We Can't Sleep Author Ada Calhoun – Buyphenergan500.us

Why We Can't SleepWhen Ada Calhoun Found Herself In The Throes Of A Midlife Crisis, She Thought That She Had No Right To Complain She Was Married With Children And A Good Career So Why Did She Feel Miserable And Why Did It Seem That Other Generation X Women Were Miserable, Too Calhoun Decided To Find Some Answers She Looked Into Housing Costs, HR Trends, Credit Card Debt Averages, And Divorce Data At Every Turn, She Saw A Pattern Sandwiched Between The Boomers And The Millennials, Gen X Women Were Facing New Problems As They Entered Middle Age, Problems That Were Being Largely OverlookedSpeaking With Women Across America About Their Experiences As The Generation Raised To Have It All, Calhoun Found That Most Were Exhausted, Terrified About Money, Under Employed, And Overwhelmed Instead Of Being Heard, They Were Told Instead To Lean In, Take Me Time, Or Make A Chore Chart To Get Their Lives And Homes In OrderIn Why We Can T Sleep, Calhoun Opens Up The Cultural And Political Contexts Of Gen X S Predicament And Offers Solutions For How To Pull Oneself Out Of The Abyss And Keep The Next Generation Of Women From Falling In The Result Is Reassuring, Empowering, And Essential Reading For All Middle Aged Women, And Anyone Who Hopes To Understand Them

[PDF / Epub] ☄ Why We Can't Sleep Author Ada Calhoun – Buyphenergan500.us
  • Hardcover
  • 288 pages
  • Why We Can't Sleep
  • Ada Calhoun
  • 01 November 2019
  • 9780802147851

    10 thoughts on “[PDF / Epub] ☄ Why We Can't Sleep Author Ada Calhoun – Buyphenergan500.us

  1. says:

    Sleepy Can t sleep Wonder about others sleeping habits The author primarily focuses on Generation X women.but.if you find yourself awake in the middle of the night.you won t feel alone after reading this book Ha I read this during the middle of the night.Ada Calhoun did her research She interviewed thousands of women around the country We get insights about what concerns Generation X womensingle women divorce women women with or without children women working three jobs women who had gotten a good education and women who stayed in shape These women woke in the middle of the night wondering about alternate life choices they might have made in their lives or had fears about aging money etcThey have been hit hard financially and dismissed culturally They have lots of debt They re squeezed on both sides by children and aging parents The grim state of adulthood is hitting them hard Many are exhausted and bewildered Generation X women were the first women raised from birth hearing the clich having it all they thought they could have careers and a rich home life They were an experiment in crafting a higher achieving, fulfilling, and well rounded version of the American women By midlife, many found that the experiment was largely failing The boomer generation said they were the first to hear they could have it all but it wasn t until Gen X arrived that it was a main stream expectation Millennials claim they re supposed to have it all , too They have crushing student loan debts They are experiencing social and economic inequality, poisonous political polarization, and a rapidly changing world More opportunity has not necessarily lead to greater happiness or satisfaction.One in four middle aged American women is on antidepressants Nearly 60% of those born between 1965 and 1979 described themselves as stressed I felt sad for many Gen X women Yet, I felt I understood their struggles and concerns I lived through many of the same issues when younger, too Many Generation X women had confusing feelings that they were embarrassed to talk about Generation X women reported being unhappy, depressed or exhausted.They felt they needed to apologize for whining Intellectually they understood that they were lucky The women were fighting with how they really felt vs what they felt they should feel It s a hard place to be stuck in On an up note the cycles of life shine through Many of the concerns for women in their 20 s, 30 s, 40 s, even 50 s.magically begin to clear up Things get better Inner peace is around the corner Older post menopausal women may have wrinkles but a calmness experience hits them in ways they were not able to experience as easily when they were young ambitious driven with grand desires I related with the authors findings about women in their 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s Middle aged women have perspective enough to see what s important and what isn t Agree Just the other day an interesting article came out about how reading at night helped people fall to sleep I posted the article on Facebook fitting with reading this book.I got funny responses from my middle aged female friends saying things like not me..they kept on reading through the nightnothing depressing about it.Kudos to Ada Calhoun for her extensive research exploring this topic I found it heartwarming to connect with women around the world who shared authentically Thank you Grove Atlantic, Netgalley, and Ada Calhoun

  2. says:

    I was lucky to receive an early copy of this book from Edelweiss I have read a lot of books about women in today s society, but never one that examined the problem from a generational lens I did my master s research paper on generations in the workplace, specifically the library, and it was really interesting to get a new perspective on it Calhoun is a member of Generation X, and so the book focuses mostly on that generation, but there is plenty of context from the other generations as well It was a really eye opening way to look at the multiple disconnects in American middle class society, and the takeaway is also that Generation X is stronger than they think Having dealt with a lot of crap in their young lives, hitting the workforce at the time of some major recessions, and now being in debt and squeezed between young kids and aging parents and yet they keep pressing on, working hard, showing the world that they have something to offer I myself am an early Millennial, one year away from being Gen X sometimes we re known as the Oregon Trail Generation because we were the last kids to grow up without the Internet, but we did have computers, and we had Oregon Trail So I learned some things about growing up in the 70s, while also relating to the world of the 80s, which I vaguely remember from my young childhood Although there aren t easy answers to the conundrums here, the book sheds light on them and offers perspective Although Calhoun does talk about her life my favorite anecdote was about British Club it s less a memoir than some of the other books on this topic of thorough, researched journalism, which is refreshing I do love a good memoir and an author s perspective, but it was nice to see a different approach.

  3. says:

    I cannot believe I was blessed to read this AMAZING book before it was formally released I was invited to read this book through NetGalley Ada Calhoun s Why We Can t Sleep has become my bible, my battle cry, my feminist go to book for women my age I got so much out of reading this book The very second I picked up this book I literally absorbed each and every word and got angrier in the best possible way , passionate, and dedicated to my own goals and missions I legitimately thought I was all alone I was relieved and felt vindicated in reading this book I enjoyed reading how the author interviewed many women of our generation and I liked how not every woman had their lives all mapped out The book was immensely relatable and any woman who grew up in the 1980s will understand all of the references, will understand about the laissez faire manner in which we were raised by our parents and handled by teachers and administration We inherited a lot of negative things that we had no idea would reverberate for so many years to come I, too, grew up believing that I was entitled to the American Dream I, too, wanted to have it all but nearing 40, I have nothing This was not from lack of trying We were lied to as kids We were raised, brainwashed, really, into thinking that every single person would grow up to be successful and to believe that we would all be married by 30, have two point five kids, live in a big house in an affluent area, and have a slew of cats and dogs I have none of those I never got married, I only recently decided to take the leap and finally pursue my dream even though I am so, so poor and often regret my decision I have no kids, no desire to have them, and spent too many years trying to please others and trying to fit into some mold that other people tried shoving me in I ve only recently grown the huevos to finally say enough is enough and to fight for what I want in life This book is a testament to women of our generation to keep fighting for what we want in life Happiness really is relative and we have to fight for what happiness feels like by our own definition, not by what society claims will make us happy I liked how Ms Calhoun discusses the repercussions of feminism I like exploring the idea of what the first wave of feminists had envisioned and what feminism looks like now I feel that because of this movement, women who do not have the personality or disposition to hold a traditional full time job that is demanding and lucrative is seen as weak, lazy, or unambitious I like exploring the concept that feminism has many layers and that having that job does not make you of a woman, and not having that job, does not make you less of one.My dissertation was about the recession implications of employment challenges faced by single, educated, childless women in the United States I wrote this at a time where I could not get enough people to participate in my study I feel that my topic was way ahead of its time but feel I d make progress with this topic now Women are braver now, confident, and are paving their own futures regardless of perceived societal norms More women are opting to marry later, if at all, and are opting to have children later, or not at all I feel that I spent my whole life taking care of other people At this phase in my life, I m choosing to be selfish and to take care of myself for once and that doesn t involve getting married or having children I m at peace with my decision Yes, I worry about my future Yes, I worry about not having a pension, 401k, decent health insurance, a man to grow old with to help me financially, etc I worry about those things every day But this book allowed me to feel how I feel without judgment, without fear, and with relief that others feel and think similarly to how I feel I am so privileged to be able to have read this book early What an amazing read and worth reading if you are a Generation X, middle aged woman, who is still trying to figure out why the hell we can t sleep

  4. says:

    3.5 starsSelf help books have always been a bit of a hit and miss for me, which is why I m very selective when it comes to choosing books from this genre to read Of course, first and foremost, the subject matter needs to be interesting and also relevant to my current situation on this count, Ada Calhoun s newest book Why We Can t Sleep did deliver, however in some ways, it also fell a bit short of expectations for me.As a member of Generation X like the author herself , it s refreshing to read a book that was able to articulate so much of what I have experienced and felt for most of my life up to this point Many of the insights that Calhoun presented were spot on, to the point that I found myself nodding my head a lot in understanding and agreement In addition to being extremely well researched, with the material laid out in a format that was organized and easy to read, one of the things I appreciated most about this book was the author s approach to the subject matter through interviews with hundreds of women, most of them from Generation X, all of whom candidly shared their stories about their struggles and challenges, Calhoun was able to establish a sense of resonance with readers that other books on the same subject mostly lacked On a personal level, I m the type of reader who tends to shy away from books that I consider to be too scientific in nature, especially ones that are overloaded with a lot of facts, figures, statistics, etc., as I usually find these books boring and as a result, I lose focus really quickly This book was different in that Calhoun didn t just regurgitate a bunch of facts and results from studies to support them rather, she incorporated her own personal experiences as well as those of many other women from different walks of life to create a anecdotal read, which I feel worked well With that said though, I think one of the things this book lacked was, ironically, the self help portion, in that it didn t really present solutions on how to overcome the challenges that Generation X often faced overall Yes, Calhoun does talk about what worked for her, and with a few of the other women interviewed, she also covered how they ended up improving their particular situations, but a lot of it was very specific to them and their lives Basically, this book was insightful in terms of explaining the why portion, but it didn t really go into the what to do about how we re feeling portion, at least not in a way that was helpful in my circumstances Overall, I feel that this book is definitely worth a read, but I think how much readers would be able to relate to it depends on their personal situations which I believe is why the reviews for this book are all over the place I certainly got some things out of it mostly knowledge in that I found out some stuff I didn t know before , but as I said earlier, I also found quite a few things lacking I would still recommend this book, but with a warning not to go into it with too many pre established expectations if it works for you, then great, but if it doesn t, that should be fine too.

  5. says:

    Boomers deserve full credit for blazing trails while facing unchecked sexism and macroaggressions and for trying to raise children while giving up their own dreams But Gen Xers entered life with having it all not as a bright new option but as a mandatory social condition Confession being born in 1981, this classifies me as a very old Millennial and not a Gen Xer But I figure I had a crush on Zach Morris as a kid, so, you know, I m close enough to Calhoun s target demographic to warrant reading this book and subsequently writing this review.The good this book was well researched Calhoun gives facts, figures, and stats that she pulled from a variety of studies, and she has the citations to prove it She also interviewed a large smattering of different Gen X ladies to gain their insights for this book They are single and partnered, mothers and childless, black and white and Asian and Latina, gay and straight, liberal and conservative, evangelical and atheist, and they hail from nearly every state, including Alaska They live in the country, the city, and the suburbs They work, don t work, did work, will work, and have careers that include photographer, priest, tech executive, lawyer, doctor, teacher, and telephone company manager They range in dress size from 0 to 28 Some are having an okay time of middle age many are struggling in one way or another Additionally, I appreciated how this book was organized into different sections from caregiving to job instability to money to being single and childless to post divorce This way, it was easier for me to skim through the sections that were less relevant to my life raising kiddos yawn and focus on the ME sections I mean, I am a selfish Millennial, after all.The not so good although well researched, I wouldn t say I necessarily learned anything new nor earth shattering from reading this book Gen Xer ladies grew up hearing they could have it all and this book shows that being told you re supposed to be kick a at everything leads to ladies feeling like they re failing at something Our lives can begin to feel like the latter seconds of a game of Tetris, where the descending pieces pile up faster and faster Also, although there was a lot of information on Why We Can t Sleep but not so much information on What To Do To Help Us Sleep Calhoun does share a few tidbits in the final chapter of what s helped her, but they re very tailored specifically to her life and her situation Additionally, and this is on me, I m just not the biggest fan of self help books which this book kinda sorta is Although it wasn t particularly long at less than 300 pages, it felt like the same information was repeated over and over which is a trait I find in a lot of self help books Lastly, I found this book to be rather depressing Regardless of if the Gen X ladies interviewed for this book were mothers, childless, married, single, gay, straight, the breadwinners, or jobless, they were all stressed out and unhappy on some level Things are so much better than they were decades ago, but they can be bad and better at the same time Thanks to NetGally for an ARC of Why We Can t Sleep in exchange for my honest review.

  6. says:

    A searing exploration of stresses that keep GenX women up at night literally and metaphorically , I raced through this book, which completely resonated So, so grateful to have received an early copy of WHY WE CAN T SLEEP Women s New Midlife Crisis Grove Atlantic, 2020 by memoirist journalist Ada Calhoun I was feeling especially down the day it arrived you know, that existential angst and was immediately gleeful after reading the book s description we are a group of women with outward markers of success and personal fulfillment, but still feel lousy Work and marriage, kids, houses, parents, all of thatwe might look successful and happy, but underneath of that is well, a struggle Money isn t very flow y, work isn t as easy or satisfying The marriage gets dull The kids zap your energy And what about all of that aspirational labor What then WHY WE CAN T SLEEP mostly focuses on women in GenerationX GenX , that is, those born roughly between 1967 1980, with a median birth year of 1976 I m sitting right there And I feel this, deeply Calhoun delves into a soulful investigation of women in this cohort She talked with many women from all walks of life married, single, divorced, gay, straight, liberal, conservative, religious, atheist, childless, partnered, with children, wealthy, not wealthy, black, Hispanic, white, Asian It is WELL researched Her sentences and paragraphs flow effortlessly and I read in awe I found this entire book wholly consuming and was thinking, I really should give a copy to my Boomer parents Then they might get me And I thought of my book club we re all GenXers And I thought of the woman who does my massages My HS girlfriends I m still in contact with.Calhoun investigates housing costs, workplace trends, credit card debt averages, divorce data At every turn, there s a familiar pattern GenX women face unique concerns and challenges that other generations don t It s about that analog to digital world, the way women mothers were when we were growing up working mothers latchkey kids, at home mothers, hands on mothers, hands off mothers , divorce latchkey kids , and our Boomer parents telling us You can have it all Why And what can we do about it when we fall short Or perceive we do At times, I was a little panicked reading WHY WE CAN T SLEEP It was a bit of gloom and doom, but insightful gloom and doom There is hope, but this title doesn t exactly go into many details other than we can prevent the next generation from falling into the abyss We can dig ourselves out And it s not about scheduling me time or creating a chore chart Such a unique and compelling read I don t typically re read books, but this one, I think I will I found some similarities between this book and the writing of Alexandra Robbins PLEDGED, OVERACHIEVERS, THE NURSES Susanna Cahalan BRAIN ON FIRE and THE GREAT PRETENDERS meets Malcolm Gladwell s work For all my reviews, including author interviews, please see www.leslielindsay.com Always with a Book Special thanks to GroveAtlantic and Dewey Decimal Media for this review copy All thoughts are my own.

  7. says:

    Every woman between 40 60 years old should read this book It is so well researched, realistic and affirming for all of us who feel we should not be allowed to be happy unless we are living perfect lives, having it all and doing it all correctly, at all times.Whew, such a relief not to be compelled to self help in order to be perfect at everything if we are feeling overwhelmed at times, maybe it s because that being overwhelmed is a sane response to what is happening in our lives right now and we should give ourselves some slack and permission to accept and enjoy ourselves, good or bad, right now Ada Calhoun writes with many documented facts and explains historically why women in their 40 s today have a particularly rough time of it Not that women from the begining of time have had it easy, but with the advantages and stress of modern living, we feel guilty if we are not happily successful in everything.

  8. says:

    I loved Calhoun s book about wedding toasts This one felt forced to me I could not relate to a book I am gen x also struggling with sleep But I am not sure the answers in here are right or at least new There s a lot in here about structural issues like fair pay and second shift stuff and a lot of personal stories She points out that wine drinking has become this generation s self help philosophy This seems true, but I m not sure it s unique to this generation I appreciate her articulating how the midlife crisis in women presents differently than in men mostly because we have too many people to look after to leave the family and buy a sports car I would have liked to see that explored with some psychiatric professionals and studies, but as she notes, it just hasn t been studied as much She brings up peri menopause for a second and then just leaves it I think we probably need medical work on what is happening hormonally to women of a certain age which is younger than women of that certain other age.

  9. says:

    Witty, well researched, and full of compassion, Ada Calhoun s book about Gen X women s midlife crises issues concerns hits home If you re a Gen X woman, you will find here someone who watched all the same TV shows, listened to all the same music, and had all the same fears as you did growing up She ll show you how growing up in the 1970s and 1980s affects some of the things you may be facing now that you re in your forties And she offers strategies for dealing with such varied things as pre menopause, divorce, being single with children, being single and childless, work related stress, and reconciling the dreams you had for yourself with the reality you are now experiencing I really connected with a lot in this book I turn 40 in a couple months and I can see myself rereading portions of this for the next decade Thanks, Ada

  10. says:

    You come to this place, midlife You don t know how you get here, but suddenly you re staring 50 in the face Yes this was me 6 years ago when i turned the big 5 0 and I knew this book was written about me Especially with the title as I have not slept good in YEARS But this book is about the facts of being in the Generation X group of women which according to this book, I miss it by a year since I was born in 1963 I found myself skimming large sections because I was losing interest Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this book and this is my honest opinion.

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